Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
Making a thoughtful choice for your executor is a significant step, but even the most well-intentioned people can fall into common traps. Being aware of these pitfalls can help you avoid them and ensure your estate plan is as robust as possible.
Mistake 1: Naming Someone Without Asking Them First
This is by far the most frequent and disruptive mistake. You might think you are bestowing an honor upon someone by naming them as your executor. In reality, you are asking them to take on a serious, time-consuming job. If they are surprised by the news after you have passed away, they may be unwilling or unprepared to accept the responsibility. If they decline, the court will turn to your named successor. If you haven’t named one, the court will appoint an administrator, and you will have lost control over who manages your affairs.
How to Avoid It: Have a direct and honest conversation with your potential executor. Explain what the role entails, answer their questions, and ask if they are comfortable and willing to serve. This conversation not only secures their agreement but also gives them a chance to understand your wishes ahead of time. It’s a dialogue that should also be had with your chosen successor executor.
Mistake 2: Automatically Choosing the Oldest Child
Tradition often dictates that the eldest child takes on family responsibilities, but this is not a sound basis for choosing an executor. The skills required—organization, financial acumen, and diplomacy—are not tied to birth order. Naming an ill-suited oldest child out of a sense of obligation can create resentment among siblings and lead to poor management of the estate.
How to Avoid It: Objectively evaluate all your children (and other candidates) against the key qualities discussed earlier. Choose the person who is most qualified for the job, regardless of their age. If you are concerned about hurt feelings, you can explain your reasoning to your family. Clarifying that you chose based on skills, not favoritism, can help maintain harmony.
Mistake 3: Appointing Co-Executors to Be “Fair”
Naming two or more of your children as co-executors is often seen as a way to avoid playing favorites. While this can work if the co-executors have a strong, cooperative relationship, it can also be a recipe for disaster. In many states, co-executors must act jointly, meaning they both have to agree on and sign off on most decisions. If they disagree, the process can grind to a halt, potentially requiring court intervention to resolve the dispute.
How to Avoid It: Think carefully about the relationship between your proposed co-executors. Do they work well together? A better strategy is often to name one person as the primary executor and another as the first successor. This creates a clear line of authority while still honoring multiple individuals.
Mistake 4: Forgetting to Name a Successor Executor
As mentioned before, failing to name a backup is a critical oversight. Your primary choice could pass away, become incapacitated, move far away, or simply change their mind about serving. Without a named successor in your will, the decision of who takes over falls to the probate court. This introduces uncertainty and delay at a time when your family needs clarity.
How to Avoid It: Always name a successor executor and, if possible, a second successor as well. Use the same criteria to select your backups as you did for your primary choice, and be sure to have a conversation with them, too.
Mistake 5: Failing to Organize Your Affairs for Your Executor
You can choose the most capable executor in the world, but if they cannot find your will, locate your bank accounts, or figure out what bills need to be paid, they will be starting with a massive handicap. A disorganized estate forces your executor to become a detective, which costs the estate time and money as they hire professionals to piece together your financial life.
How to Avoid It: Do your executor a tremendous favor by getting your own affairs in order. Create a centralized and secure file—either physical or digital—that contains copies of essential documents. This should include your will, deeds to property, vehicle titles, insurance policies, bank and investment account statements, tax returns, and a list of all digital assets and passwords. Write a “letter of instruction” that explains where the original documents are located and provides contact information for your attorney, accountant, and financial advisor. Most importantly, make sure your executor knows that this file exists and how to access it when the time comes.
